Retarded complaints

[oneofsix]

another from Heralds sideswipe

A daycare received this message from a concerned parent. It reads: "Hi Becky! This is Kaylyn's mum :-]. I have a concern about the snacks you are serving the kids. Today we were in the store and Kaylyn pointed out the type of cookies that you served at the teddy bear picnic. Much to my dismay they weren't a name brand. My husband and I pay very good money for childcare and we expect corners won't be cut in the care of our child. That and we don't want to instill [sic] the sorts of values in her that make her think it's okay to settle for less than the best. This might be hard for you to understand but it means a lot to me."

Reply should read something like "Hi Kaylyn's mum, In line with your request your fees for the current year have just increased 100%. We will understand if you choose to remove Kaylyn from our facility in light of this." And then just make sure the biscuits are in a non-descript container and all packeting removed from the premises before offering them to the kids.

[imdying]

I don't think it'll matter where her precious little tyke develops a love of sugar, and I'm pretty sure that diabetes doesn't give a fuck either.

[slofox]

another from Heralds sideswipe

A daycare received this message from a concerned parent. It reads: "Hi Becky! This is Kaylyn's mum :-]. I have a concern about the snacks you are serving the kids. Today we were in the store and Kaylyn pointed out the type of cookies that you served at the teddy bear picnic. Much to my dismay they weren't a name brand. My husband and I pay very good money for childcare and we expect corners won't be cut in the care of our child. That and we don't want to instill [sic] the sorts of values in her that make her think it's okay to settle for less than the best. This might be hard for you to understand but it means a lot to me."

Reply should read something like "Hi Kaylyn's mum, In line with your request your fees for the current year have just increased 100%. We will understand if you choose to remove Kaylyn from our facility in light of this." And then just make sure the biscuits are in a non-descript container and all packeting removed from the premises before offering them to the kids.

Or..."Dear Kaylyn's Mum, You fucking moron. You should have been expelled from the human race at birth."

I feel sorry for Kaylyn with a mother like that...

[Smifffy]

another from Heralds sideswipe

A daycare received this message from a concerned parent. It reads: "Hi Becky! This is Kaylyn's mum :-]. I have a concern about the snacks you are serving the kids. Today we were in the store and Kaylyn pointed out the type of cookies that you served at the teddy bear picnic. Much to my dismay they weren't a name brand. My husband and I pay very good money for childcare and we expect corners won't be cut in the care of our child. That and we don't want to instill [sic] the sorts of values in her that make her think it's okay to settle for less than the best. This might be hard for you to understand but it means a lot to me."

That's 'working for families' at work for ya.

Dear Kaylyn's mum,

Since Kaylyn was first enrolled at our daycare, we have many times had to chastise the other children, and in fact have sent some to time out, for calling Kaylyn names like 'snob' 'up herself' and 'Queen Kaylyn'.

In accordance with your wishes I will ensure I get separate snacks for Kaylyn, perhaps toffee pops or mallowpuffs. I will ensure that Kaylyn is served first, as the other children watch, and then line up for their round wine biscuits.

I'm sure that you are doing a great job of instilling the proper values in Kaylyn which will equip her well to easily deal with the lack of subservient deference of her classmates.

You may also be very happy to know that little Tama often tells the other children that Kaylyn is very pretty and that her hair is very soft.

[Brian d marge]

Dont get me started ..... about slack Jaws

I live in a contra , that breeds them .. then go and play with nuclear power stations

The latest one.

Contact lenses. Coastal contacts stopped supplying to Japan, and the Japanese site doesn't list my kind so off to Jap land ( it always ends in tears , I know this , but ,,,but ,,,,)

So eye test , 5 in one eye 6 in the other , for close up work I need 7 , much arguing with Numbnuts and we agree on 6.5 ( which is what I have in now and use reading glasses for the verniers etc , would prefer 7 )

they arrive after 3 week??? from USA 5 days ... ( and you think NZ is bad )
put them in today

Cant see a fR$%'ng thing ..... I knew this would happen , I knew it ...but I trusted them ....more fool me .....

So ...off to the clinic tomorrow ( oh no thats another story )

So off to the eye doctor tomorrow , not sure if I should just beat him to a pulp

or be polite , then beat him to a pulp , or worse bring him my wifes cooking for a week and make him eat it

Now for a quick note to slackJaws in General;

I swear PLEASE PLEASE if you have difficulty thinking and a tendency towards a slack Jaw ...Please inform me , so that I can make an alternative arrangement

Or at least wear a pink question mark on your shoulder to inform everyone that you suffer from a disability


How these people make Motorcycles is beyond me ( oh I know they use Jeremy Burgess )

Stephen

Rant over

[Smifffy]

I swear PLEASE PLEASE if you have difficulty thinking and a tendency towards a slack Jaw ...Please inform me , so that I can make an alternative arrangement

Or at least wear a pink question mark on your shoulder to inform everyone that you suffer from a disability

Bill Engvall - Here's your sign!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5ZkdHImCuQ

[Brian d marge]

Bill Engvall - Here's your sign!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5ZkdHImCuQ

Yup Mongo here luvs my sign !!!

Stephen

[theblackbandit]

An oldie but a goodie...


These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism website and the answers are the actual responses by the website's official. They obviously have a sense of humour. Amazing how some people ask daft questions!


Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK.)

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.


Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.


Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?


Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.


Q: Which direction is North in Australia? ( USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q! : Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? ( France)

A: Only at Christmas.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[LBD]

Page 3 of the thread and still no mention of Norwegian Blues....

[Brian d marge]

Bill Engvall - Here's your sign!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5ZkdHImCuQ

update ... old contacts 6.5 , new contacts 6.5 old contacts see fine , new contact cant see

billy bob tojo ....why ....... try wearing glasses which I am trying now ( 2 dollar shop )

I wonder why I wearing contacts in the first place ,,,, i dont know ..to see maybe ?

sooooo have to go into the shop and listen to billy bob tojo expert tell me what I need again
Rather than friggen ask ( Ive only been wearing contacts for #### years and pretty much know what I need )


oh well the trials and tribulations of being a customer

Stephen

[jasonu]

Me at dairy, grabs lift plus from fridge, big label $1.99. Bring to counter.

Dairy Owner :$2 thanks.
Me: Oh the fridge says $1.99, and I'm paying with eftpos.
DO: $2 take it or leave it.
Me: *walking off* you've displayed a price on your fridge, you're not providing customers with accurate prices and misrepresenting your stock. I guess you can't understand the issue, though that's probably why you're a dairy owner and not doing something else.

I know it was one cent, but I was iffy about wanting a drink and that just set me off. Lol. Such a stupid complaint though.

Was that at Arkwright and Granvilles 'Open All Hours' shop???

When working on a cruise ship I overheard a story about a guest complaining that he paid for a window cabin and wanted a better view than the carpark. We hadn't set sail yet...

Not relavent to the thread but funny. I saw a teeshirt for sale in Hollywood I wished I bought.
LAPD We treat you like a King.

[ellipsis]

...I had to hard fix a safe in a business in England...the insurance company wouldn't cover free standing safes anymore...removed lots of brickwork ..poured a concrete liner...drilled out holes to fit the chem-set bolts in the back of the safe...bolted it up...job done...two days later the business owner (an Irishman) contacted me, very unhappy...was concerned that if someone broke into his safe, they could unbolt it and steal the safe...

..not sure if it was the irish in him..

[Gremlin]

These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism website and the answers are the actual responses by the website's official. They obviously have a sense of humour. Amazing how some people ask daft questions!

Ye missed my favourite one:

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

[Scuba_Steve]

Customer: So how much does the laptop weigh?
Assistant: Around 3kg's
Customer: What about when the hard drives full how much then?
Assistant:

[theblackbandit]

That IS a good one! hadnt seen it until now...

Ye missed my favourite one:

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.